I
t has happened to most of us before- large hoop earrings, scrunchies, and ties substituting as belts- fashion trends that we eagerly accept only to later realize that our in style accessory or piece has quickly been unearthed as a fashion disaster. In fact, you probably own a piece that will fall into this embarrassing category. But don't crawl into your college hoodie and matching sweats to cry yet! I've predicted the most recent trends and accessories that will likely exude a huge "WTF" in review.
The Number One Worst Fashion Trend of 2006-2008.
Just because they've been worn by thousands of impressionable teenage and twenty -something girls for the past couple of years does not mean that these throwbacks to the Eighties (and your toddler ballet class) will escape the harsh criticism that they deserve. You know what's coming and you know that you own them- so get ready for it. The Worst recent Fashion Trend: TIGHTS.
Obviously, every piece of clothing has a place and a time, but unfortunately for every pair of eyes in the world today, tights are being substituted entirely for pants. Whether worn with a too-short shirt-dress, or a hideous patterned mu mu-like dress, tights can completely alter your look. Nobody wants to see your bulging thigh muscles, or the nylon stitch seam that replaces your butt crack. Remember that REAL Pants and REAL Skirts are always an option (and a favoured one at that).
It's also important to note that just because everyone else is wearing it doesn't mean that it will work for your body. If you are going to wear tights, make sure your legs are long enough to avoid looking stumpy and fat, or wear them with a stiletto heel to elongate your leg line. And make sure that your shirt/dress is covering your entire crotch region/behind because we've all heard of camel toe- and tights are a one way ticket to your very own replication!
I will make my final point through images. Let's see if you get this fashion joke.
(The joke: Spandex. Unfortunately, the joke is on you)
The Second Worst Fashion Trend of 2007-2008:
This needs no introduction. It is (drum roll please) the "Amy Winehouse." Now she may be a very talented vocalist/musician but who really wants to look like an unkempt drug user (whose biggest hit was a song called "Rehab")? Besides Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton of course.
So what is the Amy Winehouse exactly? We are talking everything from the ridiculous over the top eyeliner to the beehive hairstyle and lack of clothing. Amy Winehouse is not a fashion; she is a rock star with problems that are reflected in her clothing and personal style. Chanel recently did a fashion show channeling Amy Winehouse as the inspiration. I would say that the Victorian style clothing of the collection is magnificent but the hair and makeup? Can anyone say boring? There is no reason to wear a beehive unless you're using it as your hiding spot for heroin. (Oops, did I just expose her secret?)
I have no ill will towards Amy Winehouse and wish her the best, but I believe that there are better and more varied candidates for Chanel's inspiration.
The Third Worst Fashion Trend of 2007-2008
The third worst fashion trend is more of a prediction than a statement, as it has only recently come into style. You have definitely seen them in magazines, and on the feet of unsuspecting, trend following women everywhere. It is the Gladiator Sandal. I will give the gladiator sandal some credit because I do love a pair of updated, modern Romans. But the in store version resembles something that my grandmother would wear. Somebody please tell me why you would put these on your feet:
These are about as fashionable as a pair of Birkenstocks or flip flops. If you are going to indulge in a pair of roman sandals, do it the right way. Move past brown and look for pairs in exciting colours, without any brass buckles. Also look for a lot of circular straps that extend past the ankle, and try the gladiator in a heel, rather than a flat for that extra sex appeal.
That's all the crap fashion that I can stand to write about for now.
Upcoming Posts:
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Victoria Beckham maintains that she is involved in every step of her designer label as Creative Director. Unfortunately, there is not much to say about her line, as it is fairly limited at the moment. Find dVb here.
